VAR

Referee Craig Pawson has apologised for watching pornography on a pitch-side VAR screen during Liverpool’s recent cup tie with West Bromwich. The match was marred by video refereeing controversies, and the FA have since banned the showing of pornography during matches.

Apology

Craig Pawson“I apologise for my conduct,” Pawson told Soccer on Sunday. “I flicked on the Playboy channel for a few seconds while waiting for the replay to come through, which I now realise wasn’t appropriate. The young lady on the screen wasn’t Asian, so I can confirm that I was not aroused or distracted by the movie, which I believe was ‘Raiders of the Lost Arse’. I could be wrong on that, but I’m 90% sure.”

“I wish to make clear that I have never masturbated during a football match,” added the South Yorkshireman. “The FA guidelines on that kind of thing are very clear. The ‘Three Strokes and You’re Out’ policy introduced in 2006 put an end to an awful lot of what used to go on in refereeing.”

Welcome

KloppJürgen Klopp was incensed by Pawson’s performance during the cup tie, and has welcomed the FA ban on pornography.

“Of course, it makes sense,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “The officials have a difficult job, which they cannot do if they are watching a man hockey a pretty lady out of it from behind. This much is clear. It doesn’t matter if it’s two guys, two girls, a girl and a goat, a goat and a pig, whatever. Save that sexy stuff for after the game.”