Republic of Ireland to be Unaffected by Covid Goal Celebration Rules

Ireland misses

The Republic of Ireland will reportedly be unaffected by new FIFA guidelines mandating social distancing during goal celebrations. Ireland have failed to score in their last 7 games.

Goals

“No, the rules are fine,” Ireland international Shane Long told Soccer on Sunday. “Probably they’ll affect teams who score goals, but that’s not really what our game is about. The elephant in the room is that we couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo, so it’s water off a duck’s back. What was the question again? Something to do with animals?”

“Perhaps we’ll score again some day,” said the Southampton striker. “Personally, I can’t see it. The last time we celebrated a goal Michael Jackson was alive and there was no such thing as the internet. But stranger things have happened.”

“I don’t even remember how to celebrate,” added Long. “Do you have to do a back flip?”