Rooney and Rafa

Wayne Rooney has confirmed his interest in taking charge of Everton who currently languish in 14th place in the Premier League. The Derby boss has been heavily linked with his former club in recent days.



“Everton already have a manager,” Rooney told Soccer on Sunday. “But when he’s fucked out on his Spanish arse next week, of course I’d be interested. Rafa might have the edge in experience, but I think I can bring a lot more hair to the table. Sometimes players only respond if the message is coming from someone with a rich, thick mane of hair.”

“I’ve loved every minute with Derby,” said the 36 year-old. “But the club’s been docked about 3 hundred points and haven’t a pot to piss in. People say you should always desert a sinking ship, and I’m no different.”

“If Rafa wants, I can put in a good word for him at Derby,” he added.