Salah Signs New Deal, Submits Transfer Request

Salah Signs

Mohamed Salah has signed a new 5 year deal and submitted a transfer request citing his desire to leave the club immediately. The Golden Boot winner hopes to follow in the footsteps of Philippe Coutinho and Luis Suárez, who also signed long-term deals before leaving the Merseyside club.

Delighted

Salah“I’m delighted to commit my long-term future to Liverpool,” the Egyptian superstar told Soccer on Sunday. “But also, you know yourself. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Get me the hell out of here. If I’m still here after Christmas, shoot me. But as I said, I’m very happy at Liverpool and the fans are the best in the world yada yada yada, the history blah blah blah. Does anyone have Florentino Pérez’ phone number?”

“I promise the Liverpool fans that I’ll never sign for another Premier League club,” he added. “Let me finish. I won’t join another Premier League club, unless it’s UTD, City, Spurs, Chelsea, Arsenal, or anyone in the top ten. You can’t say fairer than that.”

Disappointed

KloppJürgen Klopp has admitted to being disappointed by the transfer request.

“I had a similar problem at Dortmund,” the German told Soccer on Sunday. “Every year, all of my best players would do a legger, as you English say. I have no hard feelings against these filthy, treacherous shitebags. It’s the same with Mo. I wish the slimey little toad well wherever he plays football next. And if he ever needs me, he can fuck right off.”