Solskjaer: “I’ll Keep Manchester UTD in the Premier League”

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has insisted that he is still the right man to steer Manchester UTD away from relegation this season. UTD currently sit two points from safety and an increasingly likely dogfight for Premier League survival.

Fight

Solskjaer presser“We’ll keep fighting,” the Norwegian told Soccer on Sunday. “I’ve told the players that if we can buy much better quality than them in January and maybe get the rub of the green, there’s no reason we can’t claw our way to safety. But if we fall short, it’s important to be relegated the UTD way, with smiles on our faces.”

“Manchester UTD don’t belong in The Championship,” added Solskjaer. “If that day comes, I’m confident we’ll bounce straight back to the Premier League or go down again into League One. But hovering in The Championship? That’s cloud cuckoo land.”

Blame

Keane intenseRoy Keane has lain the blame squarely at the feet of the club’s playing staff.

“Bluffers,” the Irishman told Soccer on Sunday. “Ole’s one of the nicest lads you’ll ever meet, but sometimes violence is the only language these cowards understand. I’d chain the boy Mata by his ankles to the back of my car and do doughnuts on the training pitch in front of the whole squad. He was shocking against Newcastle.”

“Fred?” added Keane. “The lad’s struggling for confidence. Ole needs to put an arm around his shoulder, sneakily turn it into a headlock, and then run him into the nearest wall. If you treat players as humans, they’ll walk all over you.”