Spurs job

Daniel Levy has confirmed that Spurs have begun advertising in local shop windows for Antonio Conte’s replacement. Several candidates have distanced themselves from what many consider a ‘poisoned chalice’.



“Yes, we’re casting the net a bit wider,” Levy told Soccer on Sunday. “Looking for an experienced coach was a mistake, so now we’re happy to hear from any human with a valid driver’s licence and an ability to communicate — ideally using words, but grunting and pointing isn’t a deal breaker.”

“The football side of things can be learnt on the job,” said the 61 year-old. “What’s important is that the candidate isn’t dead or dying, as we don’t want to find ourselves back here again a year or two from now. That’s just basic due diligence.”

“Ex-cons welcome to apply,” he said. “Obviously we draw the line at multiple homicides, but we’d like to hear from strong candidates who might have only killed one person.”

“Two at the most,” he added.