Daniel Sturridge has been ruled out for 12 weeks after rupturing his hamstring during a photo shoot at The Hawthorns. Sturridge agreed to join the West Midlands club on loan for the remainder of the season, but pulled up while juggling a ball for the assembled media.
“It was just one of those things,” the England international told Soccer on Sunday. “I tried to do a few keepy-uppies for the press. First one felt fine, but my hamstring’s done a Sturridge halfway through the second.”
“There’s a good chance I won’t play at all before the end of the season,” added Sturridge. “So I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank everyone at the club. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time at West Alwich Brombian and I’m leaving with some wonderful memories. You’ll Never Walk a Brombawich, or whatever the catchphrase is here.”
The latest setback marks Sturridge’s 230th hamstring injury in 194 appearances — an average of 1.2 per-game. Still, the Birmingham-born hitman is optimistic.
“I’m determined to come back stronger,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “But realistically, I’ll be much slower and shitter.”
Alan Pardew witnessed the injury and admits that he was shocked.
“I couldn’t Adam’n’Eve my mince pies,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “I thought, ‘is this slag ‘avin a Giraffe?’ All my Jackie Chans up in smoke. Who’s going to get the goals now? Jay Rodriguez? Do me a Cheesy Quaver. We’re in Barney Rubble if we’re relying on that crooked-footed James Blunt.”
“Mark my words, this will cost me my Corn on the Cob,” added Pardew. “I’ll be back on the Nat King Cole by April. I won’t lie. I’m Schindler’s List.”