Van Dijk Illness: Klopp Offers Leicester a Draw

Van Dijk

Jürgen Klopp has offered Leicester a share of the spoils if they agree not to play against Liverpool at Anfield tomorrow evening. Virgil Van Dijk is unavailable through illness, and Klopp is keen to avoid fielding a makeshift defence.

Vital

Klopp“Big Virg is vital,” the German told Soccer on Sunday. “Would I say the others are shite? No, that would be harsh. They’re just shite compared to Virg. Especially Lovren. So we must look for solutions, and if Claude Puel wishes to stay home and stroke his pet hamster or whatever, let’s call it a draw.”

“I like Joël Matip,” added Klopp. “He’s a cool guy. Do I trust him not to shit his pants and lose the match? Of course not — he looks and plays like a confused giraffe that has wandered into a science lab. Let’s be serious here.”

Agree

Van DijkVan Dijk agrees that the match shouldn’t be played, if at all possible.

“I don’t envy the gaffer,” the Dutchman told Soccer on Sunday. “Organising a defence around Joël Matip is every manager’s worst nightmare, to be fair. Joël’s a good lad, but it’s well documented that he looks and plays like an unsettled giraffe that’s just witnessed a car accident.”

“Take the draw, would be my advice to Leicester,” added Van Dijk. “Don’t pretend Harry Maguire doesn’t look and play like a startled hippo that’s been handed a Rubik’s Cube.”