VAR Official Admits Being in Toilet During Crucial Llorente Goal

Guardiola VAR

Pep Guardiola has slammed Mike Dunlop after the VAR official admitted missing Fernando Llorente’s match winning goal at the Etihad last night. Llorente appeared to handle the ball in an angle not seen by referee Cüneyt Çakır, and Dunlop has since revealed that he was in the lavatory rather than the VAR booth when the goal was scored.

Pint

Artist“It was just one of those things,” Dunlop told Soccer on Sunday. “I’ve nipped out to the shitter for no more than 5 minutes. On the way back I’ve stopped for a quick pint and a ciggie, and a security guard called Big Dave says, ‘Everyone’s looking for you Mike. Spurs have scored and it went to VAR.’ I nearly choked on my pint — spluttering, eyes watering, beer spraying out my nostrils. Big Dave gave me the Heimlich manoeuvre and he’s only gone and cracked three ribs.”

“As an official, I’m obviously gutted,” said Dunlop. “But as a diehard Spurs fan, I’m over the wooden spoon. If I hadn’t nipped out to lay the foundations of that chocolate log cabin, everyone would be calling Spurs bottlers again this morning.”

“Am I a hero?” added Dunlop. “That’s not for me to say. I’m just here to watch videos and miss the odd big call.”