Wenger Signs New Extension After Cup Final Loss

Wenger Laughing

Arsène Wenger has signed a new 2 year extension following Arsenal’s Carabao Cup final loss to Manchester City. The Frenchman sat down with chairman Chips Keswick after the humiliating defeat, and committed his future to the London club until 2021.

Delighted

Wenger smug“I am delighted for the fans,” Wenger told Soccer on Sunday. “They love me. Everywhere I see signs saying ‘Wenger Out’, which is French for ‘Wenger In’. Signing an extension is my way of repaying them. It’s a two year extension, but then I’ll sign another, and another. It’ll take more than ten to twelve humiliating defeats a season to make me walk away from these wonderful fans. They have my word.”

“The final proved we are moving in the right direction,” added the Frenchman. “Last season in a game like that we would have lost our composure and conceded four goals without reply. But we held our nerve, and conceded three goals without reply. It’s hard to believe this is the same team.”

Blood

TroopzArsenal Fan TV star ‘Troopz’ admits that he is disappointed by the announced extension.

“My blood ran cold, blood,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “Now I want blood, blood. It’s time to spill blood, blood. Rivers of blood through the streets around The Emirates, blood. Blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood blood, blood.”

“Blood,” added the notorious hothead, before being taken away in an ambulance with a suspected heart attack.

“Wenger Out,” he whispered faintly in French to the attending paramedics in an unexpected show of support for the Arsenal manager.