Woodward Flies Banner Over Mourinho’s House

Mourinho plane

Ed Woodward has flown an insulting banner over José Mourinho’s home, labelling the Portuguese manager “shite”. The pair have been at loggerheads over Manchester UTD’s summer transfer policy, and Woodward’s banner is likely to inflame an already tense situation.

Incident

MourinhoMourinho has played down the incident.

“Our relationship is fantastic,” he told Soccer on Sunday. “Mr Woodward sends me a banner calling me shite, I run over his poodle David Barkham in my range rover, he sends my children a letter telling them they are adopted, I make sweet, sweet love to his wife Isabelle on their kitchen table while he is at a parent-teacher meeting. It’s just banter, as you English say.”

“No,” said Mourinho, when asked if he had spoken to Woodward since making love to his wife and killing his dog. “Three men in balaclavas beat me unconscious with baseball bats outside Sainsbury’s, but I’m pretty sure that was Pogba, Martial and Shaw.”

“I hate Luke Shaw,” added the former Chelsea manager. “He’s such a fat cunt.”