Sturridge’s tendons replaced with slinkies
Medical experts have confirmed that slinkies exist were several of Daniel Sturridge’s tendons should be. It is unclear how the popular children’s toys…
Ask Michael Owen
Of all the clubs you played for Michael, which is your favourite? Jimmy, Cardiff Newcastle. Hands down. Obviously I’ve played for…
Mourinho blames Space Monkeys
Jose Mourinho has sensationally accused a species of Space Monkeys for his team’s recent collapse. The under fire Chelsea boss made the…
Wayne Rooney Accused of Getting Older
Wayne Rooney has been sharply criticised after a club medic confirmed that the striker is older now than when first signed by Manchester UTD.…
Mourinho found in Wenger’s bedroom
Police have removed Jose Mourinho from the bedroom of bitter rival Arsene Wenger. The Chelsea manager was spotted on CCTV shuffling…
Tim Sherwood signs self
Tim Sherwood has announced the signing of himself, making Tim Sherwood the latest addition to his Villa playing staff. “Tim’s…
Ask Joe Kinnear
How do you feel the modern game compares to your own day Joe? Sid, Shefield C*nts today got no respect.…
Klopp performs miracle
Jurgen Klopp has performed his first confirmed miracle at Liverpool football club. “We couldn’t start training, because the ball was flat,”…
Ask Tim Sherwood
Answering readers’ questions this week, is soon-to-be former Aston Villa manager Tim Sherwood. How come you never smile Tim? Frank, Birmingham…
Kim Jon Un calls Sepp Blatter a ‘Dictator’
Sepp Blatter has been labelled a ‘Dictator’ by Kim Jong Un. “Where’s the transparency?” asked the North Korean supreme leader. “This…