Chelsea downgraded to Pub Team

Chelsea have been sensationally downgraded to the status of Pub Team by the FA, in a move that is likely to heap more pressure upon Jose Mourinho. The defending champions now face…

Ask Pierluigi Collina

The world’s most famous referee answers readers’ questions about his remarkable career…   When did you first start to lose your hair? Jack, London  In my late twenties. But I…

Ask Arsene Wenger

Hey Arsene, will you ever buy a f*cking player for once? Jack, London  No, I do not like to buy players. This is not part of our plan.   You’ve…

El-Hadji Diouf takes over from Neville

El-hadji Diouf is set to take the Sky Sports punditry reins from newly-unveiled Valencia manager Gary Neville. The former Liverpool striker has begun rehearsals for Monday Night Football, and is already generating…

Aston Villa to be double relegated

Aston Villa are sensationally on the verge of being double relegated. Should the Midlands team finish in the bottom three this season, the FA have declared their intention to relegate Villa…

Neville sacks Neville

Gary Neville has sacked assistant manager Phil Neville, in the first of what might be sweeping changes at new club Valencia. The former Sky Sports pundit swung the axe in the…

Jamie Vardy labels himself the ‘Greatest’

Leicester City’s Jamie Vardy has labelled himself the greatest footballer of all time. In a far-reaching interview with Soccer on Sunday, the English striker criticised many of the players who have enjoyed…