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      Rodri Brands Scotland a “Bunch of Kilt-wearing, Haggis-fondling Hoofers” Souness Slams Rice: “He’s Like a Slightly Less Shit Pogba” Conte Apologises for Calling Spurs Players ‘Spursy’ and Shite Hodgson Adds His Father to Backroom Staff for Proposed Palace Return Kerry Katona, Judi Dench and Matt Hancock to Host Match of the Day
      News

      Graham Potter Finally Snaps, Becomes Hulk, Kills 7 Journalists

      Graham Potter has finally proven the existence of a temper beneath his ultra calm demeanour.

      News

      Arteta Calls for Panic After Damaging Man City Loss

      Mikel Arteta has called on his players and fans of Arsenal football club to panic following last night's defeat to Man City.

      News

      US Confirm Object Shot Down Over Canadian Border Was Kane Penalty

      The US have confirmed that F16 fighters last night shot down the penalty taken by Harry Kane against France in December.

      News

      Haaland a “Poor Man’s Shane Long”, Insists Carragher

      Jamie Carragher has doubled down on his controversial criticism of Premier League superstar Erling Haaland.

      News

      Heavily-armed Solskjaer Arrives at Etihad to Collect 2021 Premier League Trophy

      A heavily-armed Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has arrived at The Etihad demanding the 2020/2021 Premier League trophy.

      News

      Guardiola Nearly Finished Shredding Documents at The Etihad

      Pep Guardiola is reportedly almost finished shredding thousands of incriminating documents at The Etihad.

      News

      Klopp Spotted Fundraising Outside Aldi to Buy Bellingham

      Jürgen Klopp has been spotted with a charity bucket outside Aldi, appealing to shoppers for loose change.

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      Steven Gerrard Appointed Everton Manager on 3 Year Deal

      Steven Gerrard has been appointed manager of Everton Football Club on a 3 year deal following the sacking of Frank Lampard.

      News

      Arteta Team-talk Doodles Becoming More Erotic, Sources Confirm

      Leaked photos from Arsenal team-talks have raised eyebrows, revealing that Mikel Arteta's doodles are becoming sexually charged.

      News

      Lineker Apologises For Erection During Sex Noise Prank

      Gary Lineker has apologised after eagle-eyed viewers spotted an enormous bulge in his trousers on Tuesday night.

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