Messi on Missing World Cup Trophy: “I Think Salt Bae Has it”
Lionel Messi has confirmed that he is unsure of the World Cup trophy's present location following days of celebrations in Argentina.
Martinez Apologises for Pretending Golden Glove is Giant Cock
Emiliano Martinez has apologised for his behaviour during Sunday's World Cup trophy ceremony in Qatar.
Messi Rant: “Cristiano Can Suck my Hairy Argentine Balls, No?”
Lionel Messi has aimed a pointed barb at Cristiano Ronaldo following his career-defining World Cup triumph.
Ronaldo on Messi Rivalry: “Ok, Let’s Call it a Draw”
Cristiano Ronaldo has suggested that his career-long rivalry with Lionel Messi should be declared a draw.
Peter Shilton Calls for VAR Review of ‘Hand of God’ Goal
Peter Shilton has called for a retrospective VAR review of Argentina’s first goal in their quarter-final against England at the 1986 World Cup. The former England goalkeeper insists that there…
God Bagsies Maradona for Heaven Five-a-side Team
God has bagsied Diego Maradona for his five-a-side team according to reports from heaven this evening. The Almighty wasted no time securing the talents of a player regarded by many…
Maradona Calls for More VAR and Some Cocaine
Diego Maradona has called for more Video Assistant Refereeing (VAR) in world football and a half kilo of Grade A cocaine. The World Cup winning legend has been impressed with…
Keane on Messi: “I’d Headbutt the Little Ferret”
Roy Keane has launched a blistering attack on Argentina’s misfiring talisman Lionel Messi. The Irishman was speaking during ITV’s World Cup coverage, and suggested that teammates of the five-time world…
Ronaldo Slams Lightness of Messi Sentence
Cristiano Ronaldo has slammed the sentence handed to arch-rival Lionel Messi following his trial on charges of tax fraud. The Argentinian is unlikely to serve jail time — an injustice, according…