Michael Owen Kills Largest Crocodile on Record
Michael Owen has shot and killed the largest saltwater crocodile ever recorded. The Newcastle legend was enjoying a family picnic in Queensland when the 22 foot reptile lunged from the river…
Michael Owen’s Portrait of Hasslehoff Sells for a Million Pounds
Michael Owen’s acclaimed portrait of David Hasslehoff has sold for an astonishing £1 million. The oil painting, “this millennium’s Mona Lisa” according to Time Magazine, had been assigned a guide price of…
Michael Owen Disproves Einstein’s Theory of Relativity
Michael Owen sent the scientific world into a tailspin today by disproving Albert Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. The world’s most famous equation, E=MC2, had stood for 111 years before Owen proved that E…
Rafael Benitez Resigns from Newcastle UTD
Rafael Benitez has sensationally resigned as manager of Newcastle UTD. Despite only being appointed by owner Mike Ashley on Friday, the Spaniard leaves his post with immediate effect. Benitez reportedly…
Newcastle are “Doomed”, Admits Steve McClaren
Steve McClaren has sensationally admitted defeat in Newcastle’s relegation battle. Despite mere goal difference separating the Tyneside club from safety, the former England manager insists there is no hope. Doomed…
Newcastle to be Docked 6 Points
Newcastle UTD were dealt a severe blow today, with the FA confirming that the club will be docked 6 points. The penalty will lower the Tynesiders into 19th position and the relegation dogfight…
Ask Michael Owen
Of all the clubs you played for Michael, which is your favourite? Jimmy, Cardiff Newcastle. Hands down. Obviously I’ve played for some big clubs, but as I say, none come bigger…
Ask Joe Kinnear
How do you feel the modern game compares to your own day Joe? Sid, Shefield C*nts today got no respect. Simple as. Time was you’d murder a c*nt in an…