Pochettino Replaces Pearson in Shock Watford Appointment
Mauricio Pochettino has shocked fans and pundits by replacing Nigel Pearson as manager of Watford in a deal worth a reported £12 million per-annum. The Argentine had been tipped to…
Roy Keane’s Premier League Refresher
Liverpool A good team — not a great team. Expect the league to be clinched early doors Man City With Guardiola finally exposed as a foreign spoofer, expect City to…
Boris Johnson on Troy Deeney: “Get Back to Work”
Prime Minister Boris Johnson has ordered Troy Deeney to return to training immediately, or face prosecution under emergency legislation. The Watford striker has stated that he will not jeopardise the…
Scientists Find Link Between Covid-19 and Relegation
Scientists have confirmed an apparent link between the threat of contracting Covid-19 and the looming possibility of relegation from a club’s league. The study vindicates affected clubs, many of whom…
Dejan Lovren on Watford Loss: “I Enjoyed the Game”
Dejan Lovren has insisted that he enjoyed Liverpool’s shock 3 – 0 defeat to Watford at Vicarage Road this evening. The loss ends a record-equalling sequence of victories and could…
De Gea Calls for Narrower Goals After Watford Loss
David de Gea has called on the FA to consider shortening the width of goals following Manchester UTD’s 2 – 0 loss to Watford. A miscued shot slipped through de…
Watford Withdraw from Premier League After City Thumping
Watford FC have sensationally withdrawn from the Premier League after their 8 – 0 drubbing at the hands of champions Manchester City yesterday. The Hornets lay rooted to the foot…
Silva to Watford: “Please Stop Fritzl’ing Me”
Marco Silva has likened Watford’s refusal to allow him join Everton to the behaviour of notorious Austrian criminal Josef Fritzl. Fritzl infamously kept his daughter captive in a basement for…
Troy Deeney Slams Arsenal: “Windy Little Ladyboys”
Troy Deeney has reignited his war of words with Arsenal following Watford’s thrilling 2 – 1 win over the Londoners last weekend. The Hornets captain accused Arsenal players of lacking…
Keane: “Replacing ‘Big Ron’ with Ferguson a mistake”
Part II of Roy Keane’s Premier League season preview (click here for part I). Man Utd Unfortunately, my old club are still trying to clean up the mess left by Alex…